Anorak News | Paris Hilton, Linsday Lohan & The Tumour – Who’s Better In Bed?

Paris Hilton, Linsday Lohan & The Tumour – Who’s Better In Bed?

by | 2nd, February 2007

PARIS Hilton is better in bed than Lindsay Lohan.

In “Paris is best for romps’”, the Sun gets to work compiling a list of the best celebrity shags.

To aid the Sun’s investigative work in the field, we pilot the new reality TV show Strictly XXX Rated. Celebrities are partnered with one, two or multiple experts and compete to see who can make the best homemade adult video and then have it stolen by unscrupulous sorts who place it on the Internet. Featuring James Hewitt, Carole Smillie and Knots Landings’s Joan Van Ark.

For now, though, we have to make do with the opinions of Joe Francis. The man described as a “US adult website boss” says that of all the hundreds of women’ he’s tired out, Paris is the best.

This is no small achievement when you realise that Francis has slept with Linsday Lohan, Rod Stewart’s daughter Kimberley and actress Tara Reid.

In conversation with Howard Stern, the US radio shock jock, Francis says Reid is the worst of all.

And, as luck has it, you can see Francis and his greatest love in the new Paris Hlton video, Another Night In Paris – Let’s Make a Weekend Of It.

To get you in the mood for an evening in with Paris, the Mirror tells us of the socialite’s namesake one Taquela Hilton.

This lesser known Hilton has just had a cyst weighing almost seven stone removed for her pre-op 40stone frame. As the Mirror notes, this growth weighed almost as much as Paris.

Now you’re ready. Dim the lights. Send granny from the room. And contemplate what would happen if Paris should ever act with that tumour…

Posted: 2nd, February 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink