Anorak News | Jolie, Pitt & Aniston EXPLODE!

Jolie, Pitt & Aniston EXPLODE!

by | 26th, January 2007

jolie-pitt-aniston-explode.jpgANGELINA Jolie explodes in OK!. And now Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are having an “EXPLOSIVE SECRET MEETING” in the Enquirer.

Forget the War in Terror, the real danger is that you will be attacked by the flying debris of so much detonated Jolie-Pitt-Aniston.

And all eyes are on the weaponry. “Why are Jen’s Boobs Bigger?” asks the Enquirer. And then: “Why does Angie have such big veins?” Answer: All the better to splatter you with.

And so we enter “Bradgelinia & Jen’s EXPLOSIVE SECRET SHOWDOWN!”

“What would you say if you were going face-to-face with the woman who stole your husband?” asks the Enquirer. Well, we’d report the theft to the police, notify the insurance company and… “Jen knows exactly what she’s going to say as the moment finally draws near.”

And Angelina has dropped a “bombshell”. Look out! Speaking in Vogue magazine, Angelina says she’d like to meet Jen.

Such is the life in the Hollywood Hills that telephones are now passé, the great and good talking to each other, arranging luncheons, lipo and duels, via the pages of the glossies.

So Angelina wants to meet Jen. But before that New York-based relationship expert Cooper Lawrence says: “Men don’t leave happy marriages.” Wise words that justify any diploma.

And words that Jen may like to consider before they meet. Yes, they have not yet come together. The “Explosive secret meeting” of the Enquirer’s front page has yet to take place. This is the “The end of the world is nigh” approach to celebrity reporting.

The claxon has been sounded. We move to Code Yellow. Angelina’s veins begin to bulge…

Posted: 26th, January 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink