Robbie Williams Takes This & That
WHAT’LL it be, Robbie Williams?
The Sun knows. Most of us just get a card or a spray of garage forecourt carnations on Valentine’s Day, but Robbie Williams is not most of us.
The Sun’s front page lists Robbie’s intake: “Happy pills, sleeping pills, 36 espressos, 60 Silk Cut, 20 Red Bulls EVERY DAY.”
Isn’t product placement a wonderful thing, the subtle approach to marketing. But before you dash out to buy your Robbie fags and distilled cups of Robbie coffee, know that Robbie is not the better for his Robbie diet. This is “ROBBIE IN REHAB”.
In this “exclusive”, the Sun sees Williams check into Arizona’s The Meadows centre for tired and emotional celebrities.
Inside the paper and The Meadows, has become the “exclusive” Cottonwood clinic in Tucson, Arizona. It may be the same as The Meadow. We are not told. But we do know that this is the place where ex-EastEnders star Danniella Westbrook sniffed the clean air.
And, if it is The Meadows, it is also where Paul Gascoigne was treated for what the newspapers routinely call “his demons”. Other pampered notables whose noses line the hallowed and cushioned white walls are Kate Moss, Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, Kerry Katona and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. So much for exclusive.
And so much for the Sun’s exclusive as the Star (“Robbie ‘pops pills like Smarties’”) and the Mirror (“Get me into rehab before I top myself”) both lead with Robbie Williams.
This is the Mirror’s “EXCLUSIVE”. “This is “ROBBIE IN CRISIS”. This is Robbie Williams telling the paper: “Get me help now or I might do something really stupid. I keep thinking of topping myself.”
Poor Robbie. Or, as the Mirror’s Dr Miriam Stoppard puts it, “Robbie Williams needs a good shaking, if not a good slapping, to bring him to his senses.”
Minds turn to that scene in Airplane when in a bid to control a panic-stricken woman, the other passengers, armed with clubs, boxing gloves and iron bars, queue up to knock some sense into her.
The queue to slap Robbie Williams may well be a long and winding one. And at its head could be Robbie’s mum. Jane Williams is a drugs councillor. She says that “from a mother’s point of view, going into rehab is the best birthday gift he could have given himself”.
So Robbie – addicted to Seroxat in the Sun and Viacodin and Xanax in the Mirror – is seeking help.
He wants to be left alone. As the front pages tell us…
Posted: 14th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
