Anorak News | Lindsay Lohan’s Wonderland

Lindsay Lohan’s Wonderland

by | 17th, February 2007

lohanwonderland.jpgLINDSAY Lohan is out of rehab.

This much we know.

But did she realise what she was getting into?

Lohan was staying at California’s Wonderland clinic.

We who are versed in rest homes for the tired and emotional celebrity have just seen Robbie Williams embark on a course of prolonged cleansing at The Meadows.

There’s a name that suggests clean living, rolling acres of lush pasture. The Meadows – “Recovery becomes reality”. “The Meadows provides a path to personal completeness and integrity,” says the pamphlet. It deals with causes of substance dependency. The Meadows offers a grassroots programme.

In the UK, there is The Priory, the UK’s exclusive rest home. The name is suggestive of a religious experience, a monkish existence in closed cloisters. The staff won’t talk, either, their lips sealed tight shut by a Trappist like vow if silence.

But here is Lohan in Wonderland. This is a tale of a girl chasing white rabbits, being induced to drink potions that make you feel tall and powerful before the comedown to a very small, insecure almost non-person size.

There goes the Mad Hatter. “I’m mad me,” he says in the manner of a Geordie auditioning for Big Brother. There’s the hookah-smoking, blue caterpillar exactly three inches high. “Whooo… Are… You?” he asks. Lohan is looking for the answer to that. She wants to reconnect with her inner Alice.

Is this what Wonderland means? The rep asking her starry, perked-up client “Would you like to go to Wonderland?” is, perhaps, more likely to engineer a positive answer than asking “Would you like a spell in a mental home?”.

Of course, Wonderland has other connotations. Wonderland is the amusement arcade on a tired seaside promenade, the place you walk past on a hot summer day and peer within, wondering what perverted evil lurks at the back by the penny machines.

Wonderland was the name given to a paedophile network unearthed in 2001. As the BBC reported, this Wonderland originated in the United States but also operated in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Italy, Norway, Portugal, Sweden and Britain.

Wonderland has been used in many different contexts. But rarely has it been used in connection with denial, sobriety and restraint…

Posted: 17th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink