Anorak News | Fighting The Germans – A Fawlty Hotel

Fighting The Germans – A Fawlty Hotel

by | 27th, February 2007

fighting-the-germans-a-fawlty-hotel.jpgGOLDEN rule of tabloid reporting No. 231b: all miserabilist hotel proprietors shall run a Fawlty Towers-style operation.

So here is the Mail’s story (“Fawlty of Weymouth”) of Joe Doyle, the owner of the Dorset resort’s Hotel Berkeley.

The story goes that while on a charabanc to God’s waiting room, Mr Doyle’s guests were insulted, embarrassed and ridiculed. And, peculiarly for the aged, not ignored.

Ernie Page, 81, was one holidaymaker taking advantage of the £140 a head four-day trip. Says Ernie of Doyle: “His attitude was disgusting.”

And these the words of a D-Day veteran! (We refer to Tabloid Rule 1943 that states that all elderly persons should have their war records brought into play on the understanding that they did not fight the Germans for shoddy service. Indeed, had they wanted punctiliousness and better trains, they should, perhaps, with hindsight, have sided with Hitler.)

Bette Bailey, 75, (wartime record unspecified) recalls approaching Mr Doyle on the matter of hot water. “When I told him what my problem was he replied, ‘I don’t now what you’re worried about – you look clean enough to me.’”

A compliment no doubt. But Mr Doyle did not leave it there. “He said: ‘The sea’s over there. If you want a wash go and jump in the sea and have one there!’ I stared at him, speechless, and he said that if I didn’t like it I could pack my bags and go home.”

She goes on: “I wasn’t sure if I had got the hotel name wrong and that it wasn’t Fawlty Towers,” says Berry, now revealed to be a retired crown court civil servant.

And then there is Eric Dyke, 74. He’s a retired BBC construction manager. He was refused his soup starter on account of arriving late at table. He complained. Mr Doyle is said to have ranted and raved. Like a madman, no doubt.

So the hotel is to be closed down by the inspectors? Eric, Betty and Ernie have been caught trying to sneak in non-residents to their rooms at night? It was hamster soup?

Er, no, no and no. Mrs Patricia Doyle, the Mail’s Sybil, says Mr Dyke was rude to her gusts and reduced a 15-year-old waitress to tears.

Says he: “All our customers are treated the same, but those wishing to treat us with disrespect will be treated likewise.”

She then laughed like a draining septic tank and set fire to her hair…

Posted: 27th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink