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Heather Mills’ Straight Talking

by | 13th, March 2007

heatherfakelegs.jpgNOT yet divorced from Heather Mills, we listen to her speaking.

In conversation on American morning TV, Heather is looking forward to her outing on Dancing With The Stars, the translated version of our own Strictly Come Dancing.

Is the dancing going to be hard?

“You know what’s really funny. … It’s kind of balanced up. Because I do a lot of sport, because I’m kind of quite flexible, the things that are normally hard for people to do, I find easy,” says Mills.

“But the things that are really simple for people, like just walking in a straight line, I find very, very difficult.”

On the day the Mail produces “THE HEATHER MILLS PORKY DETECTOR TEST” – a litany of “HEATHER CLIAMS” and conflicting “TRUTH” – news that she can’t even walk straight will have heads nodding.

“There’s the chance after … lots of dancing that it could just come off,” Heather continues. This is sure to keep pro-celebrity dance fans glued. What odds Heather’s cha-cha-cha turning into a one-step?

“For me this has been quite a holiday because my life’s so megastressful and so busy,” says she.

But you should always find time to dance?

“What I want to do is show that you can get out there and do anything with an artificial leg. I mean, we’ve got people with two legs missing running the 100 meters in 11.3 seconds,” she tells us. “I bet you can’t run the 100 meters in 11.3 seconds.”

The interviewer’s response is not reported. And a look at the Mail’s article fails to reveal if Mills move so fast. The paper recalls Mills saying how she “ran away to join the fair”. How far she ran and at what speed we are not told.

And if Americans don’t like her, will there be anywhere for her to run?

“Well, it doesn’t really matter who I am as a person,” she says. “What matters is what they think of the dance.”

It’s in the hands of the gods whether or not Heather is to become the first ex-wife of a former Beatle to win a reality TV dance show.

No small pressure there. Not that Heather is worried.

“I don’t really get nervous unless I’m going to meet potential mother-in-laws, so that’s not going to be happening,” says she.

Well, not unless she meets someone younger than her last husband…



Posted: 13th, March 2007 | In: Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink