GM Livers, NHS sick, junk food, DVT, killer magpies and more…
EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it can’t think any up, it looks at the latest scientific research.
Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…
MONDAY
“Most Britons will be obese in 25 years” – Only most?
Hurrah!
“Anti-racism is the modern McCarthyism. Instead of stamping out bigotry, it stamps out truth and justice” – Melanie Phillips; if she floats she’s a witch!
“MAGPIE MENACE. You might salute him for luck – but the jaunty magpie is a savage predator slaughtering our songbirds” – One for sorrow; two for sorrow; three for sorrow
TUESDAY
The Numbers:
13 – The percentage of people who have no natural teeth
60,000 – The number of people in the UK who have Crohn’s disease
“I laughed when friends complained about hot flushes. Then I went into menopause meltdown” – Linda Robson gets old
“The doctor made me a new jaw from my shoulder – with ready fitted teeth” – Me and my Osteosarcoma operation
“Buying drugs at the chemist is so convenient. But are you gambling with your health?” – 2-1 says maybe
“Computer staff ‘at greater risk of DVT than flyers’” – So says researcher at New Zealand’s Medical Research Institute
WEDNESDAY
“Blame the junk food. Bad diet, not lack of exercise, ‘is behind child obesity crisis’” – As you were kids, says Professor Terence Wilkin
“DON’T YOU DARE BE ILL OUT OF HOURS. GP shake-up has left cover at night and weekends a shambles, warn MPs” – Luckily many of our MPs have private health cover
THURSDAY
“GM Corn ‘could cause kidney and liver damage’” – says a team at the University of Caen
FRIDAY
“I felt so safe as RAF Vulcans flew over my school. Why, then, do I now think Britain does NOT need Trident” – Tom Utley’s school days
Posted: 18th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
