Anorak News | Naughty But Nice – Iran Introduces Mrs Faye Turney

Naughty But Nice – Iran Introduces Mrs Faye Turney

by | 29th, March 2007

faye.jpg“HOSTAGE on parade in Iran’s propaganda war.”

So says the Times’ front page. And readers are met with the vision of Leading Seaman Faye Turney, 26, speaking on Iranian TV.

She says her captors are “friendly, hospitable, thoughtful and nice”.

Stockholm Syndrome, the condition in which the hostage can show signs of having feelings of loyalty to the hostage-taker, may need to be rebranded Tehran Therapy.

Mrs Turney has even felt compelled to put pen to paper and appeal to the greater Iranian peoples for “apparently” straying into their national waters.

Will they accept her apology? Are they as nice, friendly and hospitable as their military? Are they so “very compassionate and warm”? We can only hope so.

But there is other message. As the Times says, Turney displays the “body language of duress”.

Body language expert Robert Philips sees Mrs Turney’s face convey a thousand words. “It was a fixed, no–teeth smile,” he says. “When you are being genuine there is a muscle in the face, the zygomatic muscle, which forces the corner of the mouth to turn up towards the eyes.” It is paired with the orbicularis muscle in the eyes. “You cannot make the two muscles work unless you have genuine warmth and happiness.”

If Mrs Turney is looking to perfect her smile she should do worse than look to the faces of her warm and friendly captors. One images they are smiling broadly.

But they should not be happy. This is an “OUTRAGE”, as the Mirror’s front page says. “A young mum paraded like a trophy on TV, forced by the cowards of Iran to LIE about how she and fourteen British servicemen were taken hostage.”

“Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Ahmadinejad?” says the Sun’s front-page headline. The headline, based on the theme tune to TV’s Dads Army, forms a link between Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Adolf Hitler. Don’t panic! We’re all doomed!

Mrs Turney is pictured drawing on cigarette. Ahmadinejad delivers his warmest and most hospitable smile. Note the eyes and mouth working in harmony.

But the Mail is not happy. “A British mother paraded on state TV. Forced to wear the hijab. Made to praise her Iranian kidnappers. And the response from our mighty Foreign Office? This is unacceptable, they squeaked,” says the Mail’s cover.Is it an act of war? Is this an example of naked aggression to seize foreign soldiers and hold them? Is it in breach of the Geneva Convention to parade them before the cameras?

Didn’t Britain once go to war over Captain Robert Jenkins’ ear? Didn’t we go to war in America over tea? Has a fighting nation been so reduced?

Or is this the phoney war before the real battle?

It is impossible to say. What is the truth?

And, we should not overlook a new twist in the polemic. Rather than banging on about loving death like we in the West love life, the Iranians are interested in being “nice”.

Yeah, nice – like cream cakes and a new beige coat? Nice is bland. And if the Iranians with their ambitions to annihilate Israel and to be a nuclear power can be nice maybe we should be nice back?

Although what they mean by nice is open to debate…

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (9) | TrackBack | Permalink