The Icing On Victoria Beckham’s Cake
DAVID Beckham and Victoria are looking at a cake on OK!’s cover page.
Vicky is celebrating her 33rd birthday at home with David. We don’t wish to intrude on this rare moment of privacy in two very public lives but the promise of “INCREDIBLE INTERVIEW & PICTURES YOU WON’T BELIEVE” is enticing.
Are we about to see Victoria eat the entire cake, lit candles, icing and all? That would be incredible. Indeed, even seeing Vicky devouring a slice of the sponge would set tongues wagging.
And inside the magazine we see Vicky holding a slice of cream and jam-filled cake to her mouth. Is she about to eat it? Day-vid narrows his gaze. Is he issuing a challenge?
Is this how the Beckhams pass those quieter, intimate moments, daring each other to perform outrageous and dangerous acts? Will Vicky eat the cake? Will David get naked? Will Vicky sing?
Here’s Vicky brandishing an iron. She’s passing it over is David’s England top. Oops! She’s left a mark on the front. David is upset – it’s not as if David going to be getting a new one any time soon.
Married life can be stressful. Vicky pulls on a cigarette. “I shouldn’t really be enjoying one of these, ‘cos I swore to Dave and the kids I’d give up the fags last Christmas,” says Vicky.
“And besides, I usually have a sneaky fag when I’m coming up in the lift. And what Dave doesn’t know what kill him.”
Not unless someone, say Dave’s PA, sees Victoria and sends Dave a test message. It can happen.
But David has already moved on. He is sat on the toilet reading the paper. His trousers are pulled up. Vicky is in the bath. Having soaped herself, Vicky is soon washing the plates. Day-vid is drying.
And then the rosy-fingered dawn of reality alights on the scene and we see that this is not the real Vicky. This is not the real Dave. These are Beckham look-alikes.
It is all a ruse. As if Her Poshness would allow cameras to intrude on a private moment with Dave. And as for that cake, well, we look forward to seeing it intact next year and for many years to come…
Posted: 18th, April 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
