Anorak News | British Teach Them To Speak Foreign Properly

British Teach Them To Speak Foreign Properly

by | 2nd, May 2007

euroexpress400.jpgTHE best thing about ex-pats is that they don’t live here.

But they are doing a good job over there, teaching the locals about the horrors of life in the UK – so keeping them from invading. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

But how they communicate is a matter of concern for the Express.

The paper says Britons complain about foreigners coming over here and not speaking the language.

Anorak readers will doubtless recall the Express’s phone vote of last December: “SHOULD all immigrants be forced to learn English?”

There was a phone number to dial for “YES” and a number for “NO”. All non-English speaking immigrants, those unable to read the Express’s burning question, let alone ask for the use of a telephone, were invited to grunt and stuck out their tongues for “yes please, sah” or shook their heads in a side-to-side motion and bowed deeply for “no, no, no thank you, bwass”. The Express is an equal opportunities newspaper.

But now the Express says Britons over there are spurning the local lingo in favour of sticking to their own language, failing to assimilate and living in closely knit ghettoes.

A survey tells us that more than half of Britons with overseas homes have not learned the local language.

But we believe this study is wrong. The truth is that these Britons are teaching the French, Spanish and more to speak their languages as the English do.

The vision is that with thousands of Britons heading to the Continent, Johnny Foreigner will learn to speak the language of his forefathers like what he ought to.

This way we can all jog along nicely and there will no more room for misunderstanding.

After all, if it wasn’t for the British they’d all be speaking German. Right readers…

Posted: 2nd, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink