Anorak News | Paris Hilton Planned To Go To Jail?

Paris Hilton Planned To Go To Jail?

by | 7th, May 2007

jailbird1_2.jpg“CAN pampered Paris survive jail?” asks the Express.

Unusually for the Express, readers are not invited to respond via a phone poll.

(Today’s burning issue is: “Should be the veil be banned in schools”? We commend to your attention the front-page headline: “AT LAST THE VEIL BANNED IN CLASS”. Vote “Yes” I am a right-thinking Express reader or “No” I am a rubber fetishist and if Miss Jenkinsop wants to wear a mask to teach RE she should be allowed to. Mr Mahmoud did. Equality. Humans rights. And so forth.)

Whether or not Paris Hilton can survive jail seems something the Express considers to be beyond its readers’ understanding. Issues of race and gender are a breeze compared to a socialite’s 45-day jail term for driving while banned.

Pending an appeal – as if the judiciary can back down now – on June 5, Paris will take up residence of a 12ft by 8ft cell with a twin bunk and hot and cold running effluent provided by a handy open-plan toilet.

Says Paris’s lawyer, Howard Weitzman: “I’m surprised and disheartened” at this “uncalled for, inappropriate and [bordering] on the ludicrous” matter. “I think she is singled out because of who she is.”

Yes, that’s right, Paris is the victim. Weitzman should tread very carefully. Hilton’s career is based on her being the instigator. She is mistress of all she does. A boyfriend sells a sex tape and Paris profits immensely. Paris chooses to go out knickerless. Paris chooses to be vacant. Paris chooses to drive a Bentley while her driving licence is suspended.

Paris chooses to go to jail. You can only dream of driving a £120,000 machine while banned. Paris does it.

If Paris is the victim she becomes like the rest of us. She might even – and shudder at this – become a cause. Paris cannot be so. She must take her punishment and like it or else the legend will be dead.

And we will say “no” Paris cannot survive jail. And all will be lost…

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Posted: 7th, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink