Anorak News | Lindsay Lohan: Rehabitual Offender Dead by 21

Lindsay Lohan: Rehabitual Offender Dead by 21

by | 5th, June 2007

lohan-anna-nicole.png“LINDSAY SUICIDE DRAMA!”

The Enquirer equips its front–page headline with a picture of Lohan eyes closed, head drawn back, her face rapt in what looks like a moment of blissful enlightenment.

But what are those “MYSTERY CUTS” on her hand? What is the “SECRET behind her collapse & DUI arrest”?

“And will she live to 21?” She will turn 21 on July 2.

We dive into this maelstrom of questions, and learn that friends and family are worried about Lohan’s lifestyle. And worried if she will attempt “SUICIDE”.

“Lindsay’s parents are alarmed that new cuts on her wrists could indicate a second suicide attempt,” says a source. “Despite her success, Lindsay’s a deeply unhappy girl, lonely and insecure – often given to paranoid behaviour when intoxicated.”

But Lindsay looks to have it all. She has fame. Money. A fire crotch. Such is the respect for and the power of her agents that not once – NOT ONCE – has any headline made disparaging remarks about her ginger hair.

But… “Lindsay’s constant companions are Hollywood users exploiting her fame and money – encouraging the destructive partying.”

So she’s back in rehab. Maybe a spot of five-star therapy can sort her out? Or at least give Lohan a place to hang out with her own kind. The Promises treatments centre might just be the VIP club where Lindsay can be herself.

A palce with no hangers-oners looking to turn her onto drugs and profit by her cebrity. Leave your prescriptions at the door…

Posted: 5th, June 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink