Anorak News | The Queen’s ‘Mighty Beefy Sword’ Awaits Ian Botham And David Beckham

The Queen’s ‘Mighty Beefy Sword’ Awaits Ian Botham And David Beckham

by | 15th, June 2007

botham-boycott.jpgDAVID Beckham has not walked the length of the country for charity. David Beckham has not advertised a breakfast cereal on the telly. David Beckham has not put his hair in a “finger perm”.

David Beckham is not Ian Botham, soon to be Sir Ian Botham. As the Mail says in “Arise England’s great sporting knight (er, not so fast David”), Botham is to be knighted.

The Mail finds it tempting to compare the English sportsmen, to the detriment of Beckham.

Beckham Didn’t

So we remind you that Davis Beckham has not been suspended from his national side for smoking cannabis.

David Beckham did not cause Lindy Field, a Miss Barbados emeritus, to sell a story of cocaine nights and broken beds. Bend it like Beckham. Mend it like Botham.

David Beckham did not send, allegedly, Australian waitress Kylie Verrells the email: “Babe, you ain’t seen nothing yet! The mighty Beefy sword awaits … and that’s just for starters.”

botham-ashes.jpgBecks would never cheat on his wife, with whom is very much in love and one would hazard, awe. Beckham has yet to send an email, although he did allegedly send Rebecca Loos a text message, a Bext.

The Mail can compare and contrast all it likes. Botham’s elevation to the knights of the realm has nothing to do with Beckham.

Botham Didn’t

True enough Beckham has never led England to World Cup victory, a fact the Mail points out to its readers interested enough in sport to read the Botham article but unaware that the England football team has not won anything since 1966.

The Mail omits to mention that Botham did nor win the World Cup either. Readers of the article may leave unaware that Botham’s captaincy of England was a disaster.

Beckham has yet to spend his summer sitting on a sun lounger commentating on David Gower’s “he loves me, he loves me not” dandelion hair for Sky TV and the viewers back home.

No need to mention the players in the same breath, unless the Mail seeks to thumbs its nose at Beckham. Both sportsmen have brought delight to millions.

The Legend of Bournemouth Beach

As for Botham, he deserves it. In 1981 Botham became a legend. Anyone who saw his display at Headingley, or as Anorak did, heard it on Test Match Special sat amid a growing crowd on a Dorset beach, will never forget.

Botham should have been knighted years ago…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Back pages Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink