Big Brother’s ‘Awesome Phwoar-Some’ And Cricket’s Finest Hour
TONIGHT four men will burst through the doors of the Big Brother house and like bulls entering the street of Pamplona cause mayhem.
Although there is every reason to believe Charley will pervert the natural order of things and be the one giving chase.
The “awesome phwoar-some” will be all good-looking lads, including a self-made millionaire, one who believes in Cosmic Ordering”, a professional cricketer and a male model.
“FOURPLAY,” says the Mirror. It too has heard the news and says the men are coming in to boost plummeting ratings.
But there is no cricketer, not in the Mirror. In this paper the master of bat and ball becomes a “tree surgeon”.
Minds versed in such things fall upon the name Ed Giddins, the cricketer who was suspended from his sport for taking cocaine and suspended for five years for placing a bet on his county to lose a match. Giddins has been employed as a Christmas tree salesman.
And his arrival would be good news for Big Brother. Cricketers do well on reality TV shows. Phil Tufnell, the laconic England bowler nicknamed the “cat” on account of his feline ability to seemingly sleep through matches, was crowned King of the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here jungle.
And on Strictly Come Dancing, cricket has found its natural reality TV home. Darren Gough pulled on a tight bodice and cha-cha-cha-ed his way to victory and a recall to the England team.
And Mark Ramprakash delighted pro-celebrity ballroom enthusiasts on the same show, leaving his comfort zone in a series of spray-on outfits and shimmies.
If it is to be Giddins, then all well and good. And if he can dance down the wicket and dispatch Charley for six over the Big Brother fence, then so much the better…
Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
