Anorak News | Britain’s Got Talent…For Hire: Kit-Kat Sex

Britain’s Got Talent…For Hire: Kit-Kat Sex

by | 17th, June 2007

kit-kat-dolls-2.jpgIT’S the “KIT-KAT SEX SCANDAL”. “Dolls booted off Britain’s Got Talent after we expose vice secret.”

Tales of confectionary and sex just one day after George Formby impressionist and organ fiddler Richard Bates’ names was spotted on the Sex Offenders’ Register. Shock indeed in Simon Cowell’s talent show. Read about that here.

Who would have guessed that the search for plate spinners, little children pining for Two Front Teeth and the next Hale & Pace would expose the underbelly of British life?

How long before police set up similar stings the length and breadth of the land? Lured by the promise of public ridicule, paedos, sickos and weirdos will line up to be captured on stage. If we can tutor Cowell in the ways of the magistrate’s court, so much the better.

Vanilla With A Flake

Today, we learn that Drag queen act The Kit-Kate dolls were on course to win the show’s £100,000 first prize and with it an appearance on the Royal Variety Performance.

But no more. The troupe has been removed from the programme. As the News of the World reports: “But that went up the spout on Friday night when transvestite lead singer Vanilla Lush — whose hooker name is Cindy — invited our reporter to visit him for a sordid SEX SESSION in his room at the hotel where the ITV show’s contestants are staying.”

Shock of shocks to learn that someone operating under the pornstar name Vanilla Lush should ever need a pseudonym for sex. And that he was foolish enough to ask a NOTW reporter if they wanted to pay for sex.

“I can only see you for a short time. It’s going to cost you £1,000 in cash if you want to f*** me tonight darling,” says the 29-year-old cross-dresser, as reported.

“I have to be up early because I’m performing live tomorrow, you’ll see me on TV, I’m in the semis of Britain’s Got Talent.”

Four-Fingered Handshake

We could begin to wonder how the reporter came to be in a position where a six-foot plus drag queen was showing him the rate card.

And how we know that the group’s Alekssandra, a 27-year-old Brazilian transvestite, can turn his hand to “spanking and whipping sessions” and vows to be “that gorgeous T-girl you have been looking for”; or that 24-yar-old Toni “sells sex under the name of Eva” and is an “active pre-op transsexual with very soft skin and natural pert breasts”.

Of course, the arcane rituals of investigative reporting cannot be revealed so readily. And we move to hear from the show’s spokesman, who tells us: “We’d like to thank the News of the World for bringing this gross abuse of our trust to our attention.

“We have removed the group from the show. As a consequence of this incident the whole band has had to be punished. We feel let down as do their fellow bandmates.”

Quite so. It chills us to the bone to think how close TV viewers came to experiencing this sickness. And that the Kit-Kate Dolls could ever suppose to shake hands with the Queen with their cripsy four fingers, and a thumb…

Posted: 17th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (14) | TrackBack | Permalink