Anorak News | Look Out Sir Cliff: There’s A Sniper On The Roof At Wimbledon

Look Out Sir Cliff: There’s A Sniper On The Roof At Wimbledon

by | 22nd, June 2007

wimbledon.jpg“WIMBLEDON SNIPER FEAR,” says the front page of London’s Evening Standard newspaper.

A gun sight is trained not on Tim Henman, nor his dreaded band of HRT-infused Henmaniacs, but the Royal Box. The very real fear is that someone is going to take out Sir Cliff Richard.

At once the headline looks less like a warning than a call to arms. But there are others in the best seats. And the paper says that a gunman could shoot the likes of the Duke of Kent and the Duchess of Gloucester.

Before we go on we need to say that the gunman is not sat in the crowd. Waiting to gain entry to Wimbledon is, for the masses, a laborious process and it is believed any terrorist wishing to put into practise his training will lose the drive during the wait. Nor will the ball boys and girls go equipped with a rifle, although there is the thrilling prospect of one of them replacing a ball with a grenade and with the cry “Yours!” rolling it towards the baseline referee.

Of course, any public event carries a degree of risk and we cannot vouch for John McEnroe.

The Grassy Tower Block

Fears are that someone will again access to Burleigh House or the adjacent Somerset House, two 12-story blocks of flats with unbroken views to the Royal Box, and fire.

The roof on Centre Court has been removed and you can now see right in.

A resident of one block, tells us: “A policeman told me a sniper would have no problem up there.”

This is an interesting thing. The police are now going about informing residents that they could, should the mood take them, open their toilet window and shoot Olympic chief Jacques Rogger in the head.

Readers learn that the roof is accessed via a padlocked door. And that Billie-Jean King plans to stay in one of the blocks and Greg Rusedski has rented a room there.

These are the facts. The forecast is foreboding. And for rain. And look out – it’s Cliff…


Sweet merciful death…

Posted: 22nd, June 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink