Anorak News | Perlane In Paris Hilton

Perlane In Paris Hilton

by | 5th, July 2007

jocelyncat.jpgNOTHING shows your age like Botox. It’s just so 1990s.

As the Enquirer reports, anyone who wants to look dipped is injecting their faces with Perlane.

Gasps all round, or at least small intakes of air through the rictus grin where a full mobile mouth once sat. Eyebrows rise up in wonder, and stay in place for six to eight weeks. A corner of Joan Rivers’ eye moves like a mountain ruffled by the flap of passing butterfly’s wing.

“I call it volume of youth,” says Arthur Swift, MD, a Montreal-based plastic surgeon. Perlane is all about adding volume to the face.”

So are donuts. But would we inject them into our head?

Says a Dr Andre Berger: “Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith, who have seemingly undergone various procedures to reduce smiles lines, could be helped by it.”

Seemingly undergone surgery? Surely a master of his trade can spot a cosmetically enhanced face at a thousand paces. Surgery is so prevalent in the Hollywood Hills that a local’s physical development follows the Three Bs: Button (nose); Breasts and Botox. All cures for “the three Ds” of aging: “deflation, deterioration and descent.” Not to mention: divorce, drugs and dinner through a straw.

Hollywood is the land of the sequel. and now there is fourth instalment in the B-movie. It’s Perlene and its retails at $600-$800 per syringe, enough for both sides of a mouth.

It’s a blend of “hyaluronic acid gel particles”. Just the thing for Courtney Cox’s “sinking cheeks”, “Pamela Andersons “sagging skin” and Paris Hilton’s “wonky eye”.

Of course, once the treatment wears off there is no substitute for tying the excess skin in a topknot by your hair zipper and telling everyone you’ve lost none of your vim and if they dare to whisper sweet nothings into your nostril you will let them wipe the discharge from what passes for your hitched up mouth…

Posted: 5th, July 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink