Anorak News | Nailing Laura Williams To Big Brother’s Wall

Nailing Laura Williams To Big Brother’s Wall

by | 7th, July 2007

laura-williams.jpg“I’LL GET MY WANGERS ON PAGE 3” says Laura Williams on the Star’s page 1.

Laura is defined by her breasts, or wants to be.

Having been forcibly removed from the Big Brother sofa by the heave-ho of democracy, Laura tells Davina McCall that it was her breasts that held her back.

They are so heavy, see. They are so gigantic, see. They are so massive, see, that she cannot do much in the day other then lie on her back or, if he tries, sit on the sofa.

“I am a big character and all the big characters have gone,” says Laura. Sure. Big Brother always votes off the winners. And Laura believes this wholeheartedly.

She tells us: “But I’ll be back on TV before you know it. I’ll be on Celebrity BB next year.”

But what will be her celebrity? What’s her talent?

“It’d be brilliant to be a Page 3 girl,” says Laura. “I’ve got some of the biggest boobs ever to hit BB, so I’d proudly be a pin-up.”

Fetch the staple gun, Mr Anorak,this is going to be like nailing jelly to a wall…

Posted: 7th, July 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink