Anorak News | Eva Longoria Ravages Champagne And Heaven’s Balls

Eva Longoria Ravages Champagne And Heaven’s Balls

by | 18th, July 2007

eva-longoria-tony-parker.jpgANOTHER day. Another wedding. This time for Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.
There is the promise of “emotional pictures”. “Only in OK!” says the front-page teaser. And it is right.

Longoria, star of TV’s Desperate Housewives, is marrying her 25-year-old sportsman in the Parisian Church of Saint Germaine L’Auxerrois.

This is tabloid heaven. OK! has moved into America, and here is a Hollywood star marrying the French–born basketball player in Paris.

There is a traditional ceremony, with the traditional “hushed silence” as the “handsome” groom marries his “beautiful” actress. Not once but twice – the Catholic service is backed by a town hall wedding.

And, as tradition dictates, the actress must invite her co-stars, Felicity Huffman, Nicollette Sheridan and Teri Hatcher. Where would this wedding be without them? Des Moins? Las Vegas? Hello!?

But this is Paris. “The chandeliers were covered in hundreds of stems of white phalaenopsis orchids to depict ‘floating balls of heaven’.”

OK! is there. So too a team of 16 bridesmaids and “groomsmen”. A maid of honour. A ring bearer. Two flower girls. Not since Paris staged the World Cup has such a cast assembled for a public show. Guest Thierry Henry feels an urge to grab a child’s hand, juggle a floating ball of heaven on his head and sing the opening bars to ‘One World Cup And half A World War’.

The crowd is “in awe”.

The wedding over. The guests are transported in red buses 55km to the do at Chateau de Vaux la Vicomte. Guests remain “awestruck”.

Says Felicity Huffman: “If you’ve every wondered what it would be like to live in17th century France in a chateau, I think we all have a good idea now.”

As the Protestants are rounded up and despatched, and Eva has to explain her Spanish roots to the point of a sharpened blade, guests soak up the atmosphere.

As in days of yore, there is a basil pyramid with a marscapone cheese and mango tartare, crab and lime crunchy.

And Tony’s father says: “To have Tony marrying Eva and Eva marrying Tony is very special.” Indeed, what is a marriage with only one partner but a non-event? “I appreciate what OK! magazine are doing today,” says Tony’s father.

And Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry steps up to say: “Tony, what you have to realise is under all that hair and made-up, her body is just like that of a 12-year-old boy.”

He then warns against Eva getting pregnant, what with it not being in the script. “We’re fine with that,” says Eva, OK! inserting a laugh to pass the comment off as if he were joking.

And the credits roll, like heads…

Posted: 18th, July 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink