Anorak News | The Page 3 Girls Go In Two By Two

The Page 3 Girls Go In Two By Two

by | 25th, July 2007

dry-t-shirt-floods.jpgNOT content with commenting on news, the Sun’s Page 3 girls are making news. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

The floods are upon us. But there’s not a wet T-shirt in sight as Nikkala and Mel hand out oversized bottles of water to Gloucester’s thirsty residents.

“What’s happened to folk here is heartbreaking,” says Nikkala. “It was important to lend a hand.”

And the locals are joyful. “Please God the worst of the flooding is over,” says one voice. “You boys and girls haven’t come a minute too soon. We need your help,” say another. “Get ‘em out,” yells a third parched throat. “Show us yer taps!” cheers a fourth.

“The Army is distributing 3 million litres of water to 14,000 homes,” says the Mirror in “THIRST AID”.

With hope restored, and rain and sweat threatening to turn Nikkala and Mel’s top clingy and see through, the Mail pours cold water on the scene.

“Stranded mother loses her twins,” says the headline. Twins born prematurely in a house cut off by rising water have died. A middle-aged man is drowned. A teenager is missing.

But if that doesn’t get you, the headline “PETS LEFT TO DIE” will. The paper says kennels have been told “to kick out pets in their care”. Kennels in Gloucester are “overwhelmed” with rescued and abandoned pets.

But Severn Tent Water will no supply the kennels with water. “We are not set up to deal with animal welfare,” says a spokesman for Severn Trent.

And we hear the wheels of a campaign begin to churn it the mud. No water is one thing. Missing people another. But our pets – our British pets – need our British help.

Noah knew what to do. Save the animals and you save yourself. Although we could always just take one pet of each breed and a cloning laboratory.

And two Page 3 Girls…

Posted: 25th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink