Anorak News | Eating Carole’s Big Brother Fudge

Eating Carole’s Big Brother Fudge

by | 7th, August 2007

samanda.jpgTHE new housemates arrived too late to save this year’s Big Brother.

Ploys were tried. David was invited to pretend he was on I’m A Celebrity Get me Out Of Here and eat something disgusting. But he is not a celebrity and managed only to puke up most of his raw beef and jam delight.

Shanessa was invited to drink a pint of mayonnaise. She refused. The massage parlour worker didn’t even rub the stuff into the palms of her hands and command Big Brother to “relax”. Shanessa was no Kerry Katona showing the world her gag reflex.

And then she too like David was gone, thrown out of the house to a chorus of boos. The crowd has to boo. This is “pantomime” says Davina McCall, dressed like Widow Twanky. But the Endemol runners and production stuff are booing like they mean it. Placards are being held aloft in scenes not witnessed since the Danish embassy was besieged by Islamicists.

But it can’t save the show. Big Brother is trying to salvage it.

What can it try next? The Star says on its front page: “BB AXES TWINS.” Inside: “Big Bro Knifes Twins!”

Are these the morbid feelings evoked by Samanda? Grisly death. Murder. Don’t go into the cellar, Samanda. They scream. And now they scream some more. But no-one comes running. These are the girls who screamed wolf.

But this is not murder? It’s nothing of the sort. But certainly there is cruelty against Samanda. They have been nominated for the chop.

In “Show fixed to stop girls winning” we see the girls called to the Diary Room. Big Brother wants to know if they are two contestants or one. If treated as one, then votes for either mean nominations for both. If treated as two, then one of them must be up for eviction on Friday.

If you have lost the thread, do not trouble yourself. Just know that Big Brother has belatedly realised that selecting twins who get along means they never vote for each other. There is no evil twin. They are both just so very fluffy and pink.

Says Samanda: “We’d prefer to go up for nominations together than separately – I would never vote for Amanda and she would never vote for me. We prefer to be as one anyway.”

But Samanda will not go. Both are now in at 4-1 to win the show, tucked in behind solid favourite Brian, slightly out to 2-1.

Amy will go. She is a rather sad character. Her relationship with Liam was dire. If Ziggy and Chanelle were Chiggy, Liam (right out to 26-1 to win) and Amy are Lamy.

And Carole will be up for the chop. Carole is now the kamp kommandant.

She cooks. But she shows no sign of being any good at it. Carole’s food is revolting. She wants to be house’s mother figure, but she is the kind of mother whose children don’t invite friends home, and certainly not to sample mum’s porridge.

Carole, whose figure engenders her with the appearance of a woman walking with her head stuffed though a 1950s seaside postcard, is less entertaining than understanding.

And who can understand the muddle and fudge that is this year’s Big Brother? Who wants to..?

Get your FREE £10 Big Brother bet here.

Posted: 7th, August 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink