Anorak News | Big Brother’s Unchained Melody

Big Brother’s Unchained Melody

by | 13th, August 2007

carole-vincent.jpg“NOW Carole’s a hippy-potamus,” says the Sun’s headline on the day’s Big Brother happenings.

The housemates are vying to see if they can improve their minds, bodies and souls. The housemate who fares best in each section will be exempt from eviction. The remaining 10 will be up for the vote.

Carole is the Mirror’s “beaded lady”, astral surfing as she tunes into the Cosmo and discovers that Charley has had a “foul-mouthed showdown” with Danielle Lloyd at a London club (see pictures of them kissing in the Sun), that Wayne Rooney has fractured his foot and Cillit Bang’s Barry has launched a new pine-fresh scoring pad.

Carole may also look into the Betfair market and see that she is 119-1 to win the show.
Not that Carole the hippy cares. What matter that only Kara-Louise and Jonty (159-1) are less popular than her – the balloon-skirted whiner out to 559-1 to win?

Of course, no-one is less popular than Charley was. And now that horror show is standing on a sticky red carpet giving “pafetic” Danielle Lloyd the benefit of her “foughts”, Big Brother has improved beyond measure.

For one thing, Jonty has been spanking Kara-Loo. It was, in truth, one spank, a single blow. But delivered by a man in shiny bri-nylon quilted dressing gown, it took on a lasting ripple.

Kara-Loo laughed. Later she may well revisit the moment and seek therapy. She might also seek out some of Carole’s cleaning aids to cleanse the spanking zone.

But first the house much be cleansed of dead wood. Take Kara-Loo to go first. Then Jonty.

And consider Ziggy at 2-1 to finish in the show’s top four. He says he and Liam (out to 11-1 to win) would make a good double act.

The new Robson and Jerome.

We see it all…

Posted: 13th, August 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink