Anorak News | The Big Brother Time Capsule: Ziggy’s Lather And Jodie Marsh’s Belts

The Big Brother Time Capsule: Ziggy’s Lather And Jodie Marsh’s Belts

by | 14th, August 2007

northern-line.jpg“STEAMY naked pics of Big Brother hunk Ziggy Lichman have been unearthed by the Daily Star.”

Indeed, dear readers, one wonders why anyone would bury pictures of Ziggy having a wash.

Before he went into the Big Brother house and washed before millions of strangers at least once a day, a soapy Ziggy may have been a novelty to place in a time capsule for future generations to study.

Along with Jodie Marsh’s belts, Jade Goody’s kebabs and a tape of Kerry Katona advertising frozen food, the earthmen of tomorrow would gain invaluable insight into life in 21st Century Britain.

But now the pictures have come to light, Ziggy is embroiled in “ZIGGY’S GAY SECRET”. The Star produces a “kinky gay-themed picture” of Ziggy in the shower with his four Northern Line bandmates.

The Star says Northern Line were “very big on the gay scene”. They weren’t. Northern Line were never that big on any scene, and we make no pun.

If they were a band of size, Ziggy would be doing as Take That’s Mark Owen once did and appearing on celebrity Big Brother, not its amateur enthusiast cousin.

Northern Line was a band produced by the committee who think gay men and teenage girls are after the same thing. They gave us Eldorado, OK! magazine and fake bake.

Of course, this is all to the good for Ziggy. The gay vote is much vaunted in Big Brother betting. If Ziggy (in to 59-1 to win) can secure the gay vote, he might go far.

Perhaps Ziggy would like to talk about his sexuality. He can discuss it with Liam, for whom women fall into two groups: available and family.

There is every reason to suspect that given time and a favourable wind, Liam would find himself in a clinch with Carole.

Liam (14-1 to win) has developed a wispy moustache of late and he and Carole (6-1 for a top four finish) can compare notes and develop a brand.

Larole can then grow huge handlebar moustaches and encourage Ziggy to get in touch with his inner Gerry.

They can then shave. In the shower. With lots of foam…

Posted: 14th, August 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink