Anorak News | Killer Crocs Stalk NHS Hospitals

Killer Crocs Stalk NHS Hospitals

by | 5th, September 2007

crocs1.png“NHS ON ALERTS,” announces the Sun’s lead page. “CROCS CAN KILL.”

“Where is Steve Irwin when you need him?” a reader asks.

But the crocs that infest Britain are not fanged beasts but moulded plastic shoes.

Britain is the thrall of a summer shoe shocker.

Only yesterday we read how Kathleen Jennings had been brought before the Beak for placing her flipflops on the seat of a train. (Criminally, she has escaped with no further punishment.)

The time is ripe to establish a consensus of what is acceptable as British footwear.

We noted that Ms Jennings was travelling from Oldham to Chester. Never wear brown in town was once enough. Now we need a full and frank code and very possibly a Government-appointed Summer Shoe Tsar.

The tipping point has been exceeded as we learn that the wrong shoes can not only soil seats but kill.

It is said that the shoes, when worn by nurses, can trigger static electricity and “KO” vital hospital equipment.

The Sun sees the shoes lay waste to a patient’s respirator in Sweden.

Sheffield NHS bosses have been quick to react and banned crocs from the city’s hospitals. A nationwide ban is scheduled to follow, says the Sun.

But the nurses see things differently. Says Gail Adams, head of nursing for the union Unison: “As long as nurses are not running up to work in fuchsia pairs I do not see a problem.”

We suggest that until a moratorium can be conducted, the nurses are met halfway and allowed to keep their shoes so long as they are black or a deep tan and passed off as brogues…

Posted: 5th, September 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (15) | TrackBack | Permalink