100 Ways To Save Money: Use Your noodle On Cheap Calls
THE Daily Mirror has one of those articles that try to make you save your cash by making money FUN. Are you having fun yet? Let’s see…
In 100 Wacky Ways To Save Your Cash, the paper tells its readers how to save money.
One way – and one that is inexcusably overlooked – is not to spend 40p a day on the dire Mirror and read Kerching for free instead. Or Anorak.
So to the list. And the top way of saving money is…
No, it’s not to make full use of your ISA tax allowance or open a pension fund. Nor is it to use your noodle for cheap calls.
The top way the Mirror thinks you can save money is by “keeping tights in the freezer overnight before you wear them can make them last longer”.
This is followed by the sage advice to wear a pair of cotton gloves to pull on your tights and so prevent snagging. Crucially, the Mirror overlooks how much the gloves cost or any tips on how much you should spend on them. I suggest going to the petrol station – on your hands – and taking the plastic gloves they give away for free. You should then drop your tights in the garage’s deepfreeze, atop the lollies, and wait for a good hour.
The Mirror’s next tip is to put olive oil in a pepper shaker. This ensures less oil is dispensed with each shake. This also ensures that you have to shake the vessel more times than normal to get what you want and thus burn more energy and so have to eat more food. And good food does not come cheap. You may also find cause to toss the pepper shaker against a wall, which will only cost you more cash in the long term.
But now you have the gist of things. And realise that the Mirror knows less about saving money than Imelda Marcos.
The trick with saving money is to ensure that you – and study this well – do NOT spend more than your earn make full use of your tax breaks.
Who knew?
Well, not the Mirror which advices readers to cut Brillo pads in half, use bottles for rolling pins (but not empty champagne bottles, mind) and turn leftover salad into a soup. An utterly disgusting and inedible soup.
More tips to follow…
Posted: 11th, September 2007 | In: Money, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
