Anorak News | Metric Martyr Does Not Die In Vain: EU Surrenders

Metric Martyr Does Not Die In Vain: EU Surrenders

by | 12th, September 2007

metric-martyrs.jpgSTEVE Thoburn, aka the Metric Martyr, is not 182.88 centimetres under ground. And nor will he ever be.

Steve will be six feet under. And he will remain six feet under for as along as Britain rules the waves and has a glorious Empire (wipes tear from eye).

As the Express trumpets, “EU surrenders in triumph for Metric Martyrs.”

Half a yard, half a yard, onward, dear friends, as Brussels capitulates under the weight of British protest.

EU Industry Commissioner Günter Verheugen says: “Things such as pints and miles and feet and inches are what make us love Britain.”

Our German leader goes on: “We don’t want to get rid of them. The idea that you could not go for a pint in a pub in Britain is not acceptable.”

The Express is overjoyed that the EU Commissioner seems to view the UK as a theme park where real EU money is exchanged for token (pounds), and you get to drive on other side of the road and inch along it.

Verheugen says it is “entirely up to the British Government whether to keep pints and feet and inches and the whole mile system.”

He goes further and says the need for Britishers to show their goods in metric units never came from headquarters.

So it was not the EU that prosecuted the aforesaid Mr Thoburn but our bureaucracy. As the paper notes, greengrocer Thoburn was convicted of breaching the Weights and Measures Act of 1985 by using scales that could not weigh in metric units.

Neil Herron, leader of the Metric Martyrs, wants a royal pardon for his forbearer.

Yes, Herr Verheugen, we still have a Royal Family too…

Posted: 12th, September 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink