Anorak News | War On Terror: In The Corner Of A Foreign Field Australia Wins The Desert Ashes

War On Terror: In The Corner Of A Foreign Field Australia Wins The Desert Ashes

by | 17th, September 2007

ashes.jpgYOU join us at the US Air Force base in Tallil for the “Ashes in the Desert” meeting between Australia’s Overwatch Battlegroup West 3 from Darwin and the British Army’s 1 Mechanised Brigade.

The thorny issue of a combined Great British team has been met full square and a grenade gently lobbed in the direction of they who say cricket is a wholly English pastime.

To the game. And the British team are flying up from Basra brimming with what the Times views as “confidence”, and what we call light arms and mounted bayonets. The mood is only enhanced by the SA80 assault rifles slung over the shoulder in the manner of Mike Brearley’s sweater.

They would be ready for whatever the Aussies toss their way. The Times senses the “same cheery optimism that invariably precedes an English rout”. Hurrah!

There is every reason to believe Maj. Giles Males (capt.) whistles his old school song (“Forty years on growing older and older, shorter in wind as in memory long. Feeble of foot and rheumatic of shoulder, what will it help us that once we were young” – Harrow) as she strides into bat, whirling his blade over his shoulder like, well, a blade.

“We’re up for this, and expect to tonk you boys back into the Stone Age,” says Lieutenant Tim Moore, words greeted with approving and even envious nods by the watching Taliban.

England have won the toss. Malec takes his guard. A certain Rider from the colonies steams in with all the brisling menace of an insurgent who’s seen your soft toilet paper.

And… Out! Maj. Giles Males (Capt.) is vanquished in valiant service to Queen and country. RIP: 11:15 am (24secs) to 11:15am (25 seconds) 2007.

The game goes predictably from there on. Brigadier-General James Bashall, the British commander offers: “The cricket today was clearly a disaster.”

Great Britain is done for. The Australians take the field. As do two streakers…

Posted: 17th, September 2007 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink