Anorak News | Boris Johnson: Gammon On For Livinstone’s Saddle

Boris Johnson: Gammon On For Livinstone’s Saddle

by | 1st, October 2007

YOU join us at the Conservative Party conference where the handing over of the “blond mop of state” is engaging Messers Boris Johnson and Michael Heseltine. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

The Guardian’s Simon Hoggart sees Heseltine’s hair “as thick and as sculpted as ever, barely held in place like a Suffolk cliff about to crash into the sea”.

Then Boris Johnson arrives on stage. He is afforded a standing ovation. With Boris as mayor of London there would be no more “jack-knifing, self-combusting, cyclist-crushing bendy buses”.

Johnson rides a bicycle, on occasion. He has yet to be crushed or squeezed by a bendy bus but shares with us: “Once they stole my saddle, to whatever voodoo end.”

Is Ken Livingstone sticking pins into Johnson’s saddle? What chance Johnson nestling into the seat of power with a backside resembling a side of cloved gammon?

The Times hear Boris go on to say: “Ken Livingstone and Gordon Brown have got to realise that they can’t keep taxing and bullying and delivering so little in return.” So return Boris’s saddle and we’ll say no more about it.

But Johnson, with his “haystack hair and windmill arms” remains standing. (No seat.)
The Express’s Patrick O’Flynn sees Johnson’s words flow “like water from a high pressure hydrant”.

Heseltine’s quiff (pronounced cliff) should look out…

Posted: 1st, October 2007 | In: Politicians Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink