Anorak News | Operation Girdle: Fat People And Global Warming

Operation Girdle: Fat People And Global Warming

by | 15th, October 2007

THE full-colour picture in the Mail reveals the person used to illustrate the story of “killer fat” is ginger, in accordance with Tabloid Rule 321b.

It may be too late for her, but your children can be spared such pain should the Government ban these killer fats, known to the world at large as trans fats.

Says Alan Johnson, Health Secretary: “We know we must act.” Indeed. We cannot have fat people all over the place and taking up too much space. It isn’t seemly. And what with house prices…

“For the first time we are clear about the problem – we are facing a potential crisis on the scale of climate change and it is in everyone’s interest to turn this around.”

Johnson is talking, of course, of methane gasses, the planet warmer that seeps from the bovine and the large of bone. And C02, which is expelled by these people as they waddle back and forth between fridge and sofa.

On the bright side, fat people have been known to block out our enemy the sun. Indeed, a human fat shield to protect the good is one idea mooted. And so long as the thin and the decent can put up with the smell of cooking fat, Project Girdle could succeed.

Give me your ginger and your overweight that we might live…

Posted: 15th, October 2007 | In: Reviews Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink