Anorak News | When Sharon Osbourne Attacks

When Sharon Osbourne Attacks

by | 23rd, October 2007

“DANNII was crying so badly she had to have her make-up re-done three times,” reports the Sun.

A base of moisturiser, followed by a concealer under his eyes, then something to lift the eyes and let them shine. And a topcoat of blusher.

Being a judge on the X Factor TV show takes time and dedication. The only wonder is that media-exposed Danni has not had her make-up tattooed on, or at least applied from a tin of weatherproof Ronseal.

If only she had opted for the hard layer of mahogany-hued varnish, Dannii’s face would not have cracked under the onslaught from her fellow judge Sharon Osbourne.

As it is she was shattered. “Dannii tried to keep calm,” says a source, “but there’s not much you can do when Sharon is at full throttle.”

The word throttle suggests a course of action, but being on the receiving end of an Osbourne hissy fit is makes it hard to focus. And then there is the thorny issue of working out where Sharon’s neck begins and ends.

“Fuck off, I’ll say what I fucking want,” says Sharon, working out that in the thrall of so much CCTV, when everyone is a potential celebrity, she needs to keep on top of her game, remind people just why she is famous.

But Sharon’s catchphrase “fuck off” masks a plan to return, to “fuck on”. As the Mirror’s front page announces: “I’ll be back.”

And anyone who says she won’t be can “fuck off” and take it up with the make-up girl….

Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink