Anorak News | Global Warming: Tread Lightly Through The Tulips With The Guardian

Global Warming: Tread Lightly Through The Tulips With The Guardian

by | 27th, October 2007

THE GUARDIAN is at the a vanguard of the anti-global warming crusade, and has launched a “unique website to help readers to reduce carbon footprint”. Plug in, get your eco-PC online and know that “If we all Tread lightly we can make a difference”.

We should tip-toe through the tulips, the supermarket and the graveyard. Tread lightly. Breathe only when necessary. Do not disturb nature. And know:

“”Who first comes up with a sporting chant, and how do they get the whole crowd to sng [sic] along? Swing Low, Sweet Chariot is considered to be England’s unofficial rugby union anthem and was sung by thousands during the World Cup final. But it was a group of schoolchildren who apparently first started singing it during an England v Ireland Five Nations game in 1988. The chant inspired other supporters nearby. When they joined in, the chant quickly rippled across Twickenham. It has been sung at almost every England game ever since.”

Singing is a great way to keep warm. Interesting stuff. (Was this written last Saturday when rugby was still popular?) And what’s more:

“It’s a simple example of how one motivated person can trigger a much wider reaction through such a small action. But many people still have doubts about whether they can achieve much of an impact, and nowhere are these doubts aired so loudly as when it comes to lowering our carbon footprints.”

It does not end there. It’s not just rugby fans but fat people who can help. Fat rugby fans should double their efforts:

“Like a dieter justifying one more chocolate biscuit, the excuses flow all too easily – why should I bother when China and India’s emissions will engulf our own efforts? Why should I bother when the US refuses to sign up to Kyoto?”

Because global cooling will make you slim. Fight global warming and get fit and fanciable:

“Nurturing a sense of community through the project is key. No one likes to feel they are acting alone, swimming forlornly against the tide. Running a marathon is much easier when you know there are hundreds of others around with the same target.”

Chuck in some cycling and join the Guardian’s Triathlon For Nature.

And it works. As readers are told:

If Guardian readers…

“Switched to energy-efficient light bulbs this week, we could turn off a coal-fired power station for one day, one hour, 46 minutes and 1 second.

“Turned off all appliances for a week instead of leaving them on standby, the power station could be turned off for 15 hours, 12 minutes and 43 seconds.

“Turned down their thermostat by 1C for a week, we could turn off a coal-fired power station for 22 hours, 21 minutes and eight seconds.”

We hear you. Turn off the power station! Let the elderly freeze. Cull the selfless sods on energy-sapping life support machines. Save all files before the power cut turns off your PC…

All hail the glorious future!

Posted: 27th, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets Comments (13) | TrackBack | Permalink