Anorak News | Suspend It Like David Beckham

Suspend It Like David Beckham

by | 11th, December 2007

DAVID BECKHAM appears on the Sun’s front page. Beckham fans are invited to dribble.

“Swollenballs,” says the headline, the shot of Beckham in his white underwear affords the Sun the chance to adapt his Goldenballs legend, although the paper offers no take on the “Bend It Like Beckham” franchise.

“Boldenballs,” says the Mirror. And it does garner the gay opinion, inviting the editor of Gay Times to say: “It’s nice to see Beckham putting his big goldenballs forward.”

The paper’s Sue Carroll (OLDENBALLS) provides “THE FEMALE VERDICT”, saying “David Beckham makes Linford Christi’s legendary lunchbox look like a bite-sized snack”. Although the paper’s fashion editor concludes that “it’s all about the packaging” (HIDDENBALLS).

Back in the Sun, the BBC’s football pundit Adrian Childs (FORBIDDENBALLS) wonders why Beckham would says “yes” to one of his brand managers musing: “Armani wants you to do a picture wearing tight white pants with your legs as wide open as the holes in England’s defence”.

Childs is right. Had only Beckham thought about it he could have used the advert to model his revolutionary new scented Flecks washing powder, which washes whites on a cold wash (COLDENBALLS), leaving them crease free (FOLDENBALLS) and more…

Posted: 11th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink