Anorak News | A Miss Is As Good As a Mile: Gemma Garrett And Locals In Crewe Nantwich Election

A Miss Is As Good As a Mile: Gemma Garrett And Locals In Crewe Nantwich Election

by | 6th, May 2008

miss-gb.jpgIT looks like being clean fight in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election as Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett steps into a swimming pool in her immaculate smalls.

“I am really looking forward to meeting all the voters there and to showing them the power of beauty,” says the Beauties for Britain Party representative, who may care to add the caveat: “weather permitting.”

There’s Garrett in the Mail, her tiara-topped bust alongside a picture of Tamsin Dunwoody, daughter to Gwyneth Dunwoody, who held the contested seat until her recent death.

Belfast’s Miss Dunwoody is blonde, so stands comparison with Xanthus Miss Garrett, who went to school in London and lives in Wales.

Up against her is the Tory’s Edward Timpson (brunette), who, as the Mail says, lives 15 miles from Crewe.

The contest is already “dirty”, says the Mail, as accusations fly as to which candidate is the most local.

Anorak has plotted a graph of the agonists localness, taking into account each of their movements since birth and now delivers the mean distance from Town Hall for each contestant.

Miss Garrett – 229.1 miles. (Saving the world has to start somewhere.)

Mrs Dunwoody – 97.8 miles. (But always with Crewe in her heart.)

Mr Timpson – 58 miles. (He has run in 6 marathons including the New York in 2007 and London in 2008.)

Miss Spain – 32 miles. (Lisa works as an au pair in Didsbury.)

Mr Ira Nutter – 0.3 miles (It would have been less but he once got lost in the park.)

It is therefore decided that the winner should be the local Mr Nutter, man of his people…

Posted: 6th, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink