Anorak News | Manchester United Turn Brass Into Silver

Manchester United Turn Brass Into Silver

by | 12th, May 2008

toilet-roll-manchester-united.jpgAS the football pundits wonder if the Premier League has become predictable, as they are contracted to wonder every year, the Star tells its readers that Manchester United’s success was down to “HOOKERS”.

Not “those slags” as fans to other football club may care to label United’s players, but actual hookers, or prostitutes as the British press used to call them.

Expecting puns on tackles, keepie-uppies and changing ends at half time, Anorak is instead introduced to a chant from the Surrey bank managers, Ipswich schoolboys and prawn sandwich enthusiasts and anyone else who makes up the United faithful.

The song, a tribute to Ronaldo, Nani and Anderson, who all rented prostitutes back in September, goes like this (to the tune of Black Lace’s Agadoo):

“Anderson-son-son-son, he’s better then Kleberson.
Anderson-son-son, our midfield magician.
To the left, to the right, to the samba beat tonight.
With the brass he is class, and he shits of Fabregas.”

It’s nothing short of verbal Viagra.

The use of “brass” is admirable, it being a sign of Britishness in a game overrun with imports.

Who cannot hope that Anderson’s scatological obsession is met by chucked toilet rolls and a “good clean game”…

Posted: 12th, May 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink