Anorak News | Those Redesigned US Bank Notes

Those Redesigned US Bank Notes

by | 21st, May 2008

zero_dollar_bill.jpgTHE US government has been ordered to change the size or texture of its banknotes because it is difficult for blind people to tell the notes apart.

All dollar notes are the same size and texture.

“A large majority of other currency systems have accommodated the visually impaired, and the secretary does not explain why US currency should be any different,” Judge Judith Rogers wrote in the court’s opinion.

The move will serve not only the blind but tourists to New York who for years gave too much money in tips to waiters and the dread hotel doormen and so raised the service personnel’s level of expectation.

All staff in the New York now expect to be tipped lavishly. The new notes will put an end to this madness and after a brief recalibration things will return to normal, albeit with uniformly Mexican cabbies and Haitian bellboys.

As for the new notes, suggestions are for:

$1 – Steeped in blood

$2 – Press Thomas Jefferson’s flat cap and hear him say, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

$5 – Fashioned into a giant hand that can be waved at sports meeting or used to greet other Americans

$10 – A scratch ‘n’ sniff note impregnated with the smell of mint

$20 – Pitted to reflect U.S. President Andrew Jackson’s complexion

$50 – The note is replaced by a whiskey miniature

$100 – Equipped with a plug and complementary Nintendo DS to reflect Benjamin Franklin’s work with electricity

God bless…

Posted: 21st, May 2008 | In: Money Comment | TrackBack | Permalink