Anorak News | Beyond Parody: Camilla Long Invents Davinia Taylor

Beyond Parody: Camilla Long Invents Davinia Taylor

by | 8th, June 2008

davinia-taylor.JPG“KATE MOSS, SADIE, SIENNA And ME,” trails the front page of the Sunday Times.

The headline “ME” is a Sunday Times everyman, a nominal person who will place the three women in context and add historical perspective. She’s given the unlikely name Davinia Taylor, a moniker that blends the deliberately extraordinary with the plebeian

“Davinia Taylor: Secrets of the Primrose Hill set,” says the paper, in what proves to be skilful parody on modern life, and newspaper reporting.

“Davinia Taylor is at the heart of the group, which includes Sadie Frost and Kate Moss. She has never spoken, until now.”

A mute celebrity friend is surely what they all crave. No kiss and tells with a dumb person. But now Davinia is given a voice.

Davinia Taylor is in her downstairs loo. “That’s Kate and me just after we left Disneyland,” she says, pointing out photos. “And there she is in the country, washing the car with Lila. Oh, look, the Duch!” – the Duchess of York, on a night out with Princess Eugenie. Here is Davinia with her new baby, the now 11-month-old Grey, and her husband, David Gardner, the footballer turned agent and David Beckham’s best friend.

Were this not a clear parody, it would be beyond parody, and Anorak would hang up its coat and retire.

Then a snap of Jake Chapman’s daughter in a highchair, the word ‘F***’ artistically picked out in raisins in front of her. “She didn’t do that herself, obviously.”

Says Davinia:

She is particularly proud of the dinner she once gave for Rhys Ifans, “possibly the funniest man on the planet. I did a crab tower and everything. He was like, ‘Babe, this is so lovely’ ”.

Says the Times satirist – get this – Camilla Long:

A tireless raconteur – accents, anecdotes, physical theatre, the lot – she is brilliant to spend time with. Much like her father, one imagines, whom she describes as “a genius businessman” and “hilarious Scouser”. Dubbed the “Loo Roll King”, Alan Murphy (Taylor is Davinia’s mother’s maiden name) amassed his £200m fortune from supplying paper to factories. (One of his yachts was called La Naturelle Dee, after his top-selling roll.)

The interview moves on:

We decamp to the pub. Davinia is even more at home here than up the road, putting away a double vodka and tonic (it’s midday) and two large glasses of sauvignon blanc in under 90 minutes. Also a Cajun chicken sandwich – “with chips!” she roars. “Oh, I’m such a picker. I was over in Paris with John [Galliano, who was designing her wedding dress] and he said, ‘Little pickers wear bigger knickers’ while he was trying to get me into this corset. But I’m ruddy staaarving!”

And we are hungry for more.

Posted: 8th, June 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink