Anorak News | The Miracle Of Cancer Busting Rice Saves Editor

The Miracle Of Cancer Busting Rice Saves Editor

by | 10th, June 2008

peking-duck.gif“THE MIRACLE INGREDIENT IN CHINESE FOOD,” promises the Express’s front-page headline.

Readers prepare to order the A for 5,000 set meal of drunken fish, and look on as the wonder of forks parts the sweet and sour sauce to allow the peas to roll through before closing on the armies of spring rolls and swallowing them whole.

And we read of “a cure for cancer and heart disease”.

Consider the Peking duck and know that the extract of red yeast rice, which gives the dish its distinctive colour, “may cut cancer deaths by two-thirds and heart disease by a third”. It may.

And “the compound could now be developed into a new treatment, saving millions of lives.” It could.

But hold on, dear Express reader: “Last night doctors warned people against taking large amounts of the rice over fears that too much can cause liver damage.”

Anorak has taken the liberty to look up the meaning of “miracle” and discovered three definitions:

1: an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
2: an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
3: Christian Science: a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfilment of spiritual law

Clearly, then, no overstatement by the Express. And if you cock an ear to the paper’s offices, you can hear the editor giving full throat and praise to the Miracle of Blackfriars: “Jesus Christ, with no Maddie news and Diana now officially dead, we need a front–page headline. Dear God, help us!”

Posted: 10th, June 2008 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink