Anorak News | Gordon Brown Declares War On Food

Gordon Brown Declares War On Food

by | 7th, July 2008

“BRITAIN declares war on food waste,” announces the Independent.

How do you fight yesterday’s tuna casserole? If you imprison food, it will only turn nasty and attack you by biological means. Perhaps the old ways of sticking the wrongdoer in the stocks and pelting it with rotten fruit would work, or only exacerbate the problem?

Reading on, we learn that: “The Government is to launch a campaign to stamp out Britain’s waste food mountains as part of a global effort to curb spiralling food prices.”

Food prices are not going up because of increased production and energy costs, but because you are not cleaning your plate.

Says Gordon Brown ( “If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?” – Pink Floyd: No Education; No Education; No Education):

“If we are to get food prices down, we must do more to deal with unnecessary demand, such as by all of us doing more to cut our food waste which is costing the average household in Britain around £8 per week.”

It’s your fault that you’re spending more on food. Just as it is your fault that petrol prices are up because you insist on traveling at something other than the most fuel efficient speed.

A new Government ruling states that mums on school run must drive at 56mph. This will reduce fuel bills. It is nothing short of common sense.

For added efficiency try eating your car, anorexia and standing still, laddie…

Posted: 7th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians Comments (9) | TrackBack | Permalink