Anorak News | Gardening Lobby Pursues Man Accused Of Shooting Mower

Gardening Lobby Pursues Man Accused Of Shooting Mower

by | 26th, July 2008

“ANYTHING not factory recommended would void the warranty,” says Dick Wagner, of Wagner’s Garden Mart in Milwaukee.

Mr Wagner is appraising the condition of a lawnmower belonging to one Keith Walendowski, a 56-year-old man from Wisconsin.

Mr Walendowski is believed to have become concerned when his mower did not start and attempted to bully it into action by shooting it with a sawn-off shotgun.

This would appear to be an illegal act and reports suggest he could, if convicted, face a fine of up to $11,000 and six-and-a-half years choky.

Is the gardening lobby so very unforgiving? Has anyone among even the most reactionary elements of the gardening community not become enraged by a malfunctioning mower, a pair of blunt shears or next door’s screaming child shattering the summer peace as he demands another lolly?

Ask yourselves this: with Walendowski inside, who will tend his garden?

Anorak advocates leniency, and suggests that rather then be jailed the accused should be turned upside down, attached to stick on wheels and encouraged to chatter his teeth and empathise with his mower…

Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Reviews Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink