Anorak News | The Jade Goody Decade: The Ten-Year Plan And An Indian Take-Away

The Jade Goody Decade: The Ten-Year Plan And An Indian Take-Away

by | 4th, September 2008

“I FEAR MY CANCER’S SPREAD,” says the Jade Goody-inspired headline on the Mirror’s cover.

This is not a metaphorical tabloid cancer, and right now millions of youths are not racially abusing Asians for our entertainment. This is real cancer. This is Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer.

News is that doctors have warned Goody that she “could have less than 10 years to live”.

Ten years..?

Anorak senses a pattern. We had ten years of post-crash Princess Diana. We have had ten years of new Labour. We are likely to have 10 years of the Madeleine McCann story. Might the Mirror and other tabs be setting itself up for a decade of easy reporting and cheap filler with 10 years of Jade’s cancer?

Staging posts in the Decade of Jade will be:

Her hysterectomy
Her chemotherapy
Her tears (“I can’t top crying”)
Her adoptions (“I am already thinking about adopting”- and what price an Indian take away?).
Her keep-fit video
And more…

Much depends on whether or not the cancer has spread to Jade’s lymph nodes. If not, then she has a higher than 90 per cent chance of survival, and the Jade decade may never some to fruition.

In the meantime, here’s Mahmoud Shafti, an oncologist, to tell readers all about Jade’s womb…

Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (11) | TrackBack | Permalink