Anorak News | Jade Goody Takes Crackling

Jade Goody Takes Crackling

by | 8th, September 2008

SURELY a misprint on the Sun’s front page: “JADE TOOK CRACK.” Might the front-page headline read: “JADE TOOK CRACKLING?”

But no.

The story is that porcine Jade has “sensationally confessed to taking crack cocaine”. The still bigger shock is that she didn’t enjoy it. Oh no. she did it to “shock her mum out of her own addiction to the deadly drug”.

And the drug made her – get his – “ill”. This is “DESPERATE” Jade Goody, replacing the “BRAVE” Jade Goody of recent days.

“I wiped the tears from my face and walked out of my bedroom to the lounge, where she was smoking crack. “I kept telling myself, ‘Be brave, Jade’.”

Brave Jade. ‘Twas ever so… Go on:

“I decided to show her how nasty and heartbreaking it was to see a member of your family — your own flesh and blood — killing themselves in front of your very eyes. I took some of her crack, put it in a Rizla paper to make a joint, and I smoked it.”

Any good?

“I felt dirty and disgusting. ‘How does it make you feel watching me do this?’ I asked.”

No replay is given. This is all in Jade’s new book. These are Jade’s words. These are no the words of a ghost writer. This really is Jayyyde. It says so on the cover of Jade: Catch A Falling Star, her new autobiography being serialised in the Sun?

First a televised cancer diagnosis, now a new book. Talk about bad timing.

“I’d foolishly thought that if she could see what it looked like — and if she thought that her own daughter was about to go to the same dark place she was — she would put a stop to it.”

Yeah, that sounds just like the he diction, poise and idiom of the Jade we know.

“I couldn’t even smoke it all, it made me feel too ill. I ran to the toilet, stuck my fingers down my throat and made myself sick, and sick, and sick.”

Sick. Sick. Sick…

Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink