Anorak News | Ministers Move To Electrocute Sex Offenders

Ministers Move To Electrocute Sex Offenders

by | 19th, September 2008

YOU join us in a caravan in Rhyl, where a man is strapped to a chair. There are wires. A figure sits to the rear.

Figure: “Are you a pervert.”

Man: “No.”

It’s the Ministry of Justice’s pilot scheme that uses polygraph tests on sex offenders living in the community. Wires are attached to genitals and the offenders’ blood flow monitored.

We need homogeny in all, the fear being that one tester’s voice will cause a reaction different to another’s. For such reasons Victoria Beckham’s voice has been ruled out as a “Menace To Public Safety” and the voices of all American women are being used as a sexual cosh to quell all and any lustful thoughts.

The voice settled upon is that of Jacqui Smith, it being the pervert’s Voice Of Choice.

Results “could” affect how they are monitored, but the results will not be admissible as evidence in court. Chief executive of Barnardo’s Martin Narey says:

“Sex offenders trying to avoid re-offending will be helped by the knowledge that polygraph testing will expose any attempt by them to mislead their probation officer.”

Unless their probation officer sounds like Jacqui Smith, naturally… Back to the interrogation:

Man: “Are you enjoying this?”

Figure: “Well, yes.”

Man: “The feeling of power..?”

Figure: “Yes.”

Man: “Pervert.”

Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Politicians Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink