Anorak News | The Smell Of Victory: The Scent Of Football

The Smell Of Victory: The Scent Of Football

by | 10th, October 2008

SMELL that? That is the smell of Liverpool FC.

L4Men leads with the intense freshness of Robbie Keane and the garlic-infused sparkle of Fernando Torres.

Note the virile blend of frustration and star anise which finishes down with undertones of second-hand tyre and gold top.

This is Liverpool’s attempt to dethrone Beckham as the official smell of football. Right now L4Men is the official scent of the Premier League, but we can expect Liverpool’s rivals to up the stakes and take more vigorous approaches to the challenge of advancing the brand.

Here are some of the other odours that should be wafting through the grounds next season:

This Year, by Tottenham

Served in a leggy bottle wrapped in a mini-skirt, This Year takes you back to the glory days of your youth. One spray behind the ears and she’ll wanna hold your hand. A spritz in the eyes and you’ll be pushing open doors and running to the bathroom screaming like you did back in the Glory Days.

Rouble, by Chelsea

With only the most expensive ingredients sourced and imported from the four corners of the world, Rouble hit the senses with top notes of newly minted cash, before pummelling the eyes with hints of Panini catalogue and wet tissue.

Trillion, by Manchester City

An oily fusion of instant gratification and silver polish. Although Trillion requires repeated spraying, and each application lasts only 37 minutes, each injection of scent contains sand-styled gold dust that gilds everything it touches. A true experience for all the senses. With free beach towel.

Emerald, by Sunderland

Low tones of wet Labrador mingle with the bitter aftertaste of prawn sandwiches and regurgitated Guinness. Though available only in a jumbo sized economy bottle, this brew still packs a punch.

Jubbly, Portsmouth

Milan. Paris. Portsmouth. The new scent from Luverly Jubberly enterprises Inc. puts the south coast on the map with zing, bling and a big-bash-bosh. Round the back and ask for Harry. Cash only…

Humiliation, by Newcastle

Free to all residents living in the Gallowgate area, Humiliation comes in a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag, wrapped in black and white striped gloss. This spray actually coats the wearer in black and white colouring and the warm glow of delusion. Warning: upon picking up the scent, outsiders may take to laughing, in which instance wearers are free to consult the tag and call everyone a “c***”.

Order now!

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Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink