Anorak News | The PRIORY: Jordan And Kerry Katona’s AGM

The PRIORY: Jordan And Kerry Katona’s AGM

by | 19th, November 2008

JORDAN and Kerry Katona “TALK ONLY TO OK!” says OK!, which also says that when the two met “SPARKS FLY”.

Kerry and Jordan will be discussing their contributions to the Towards a Brighter Bedford campaign and the key debate on whether or not Victorian street furniture is preferable to more modern Sixties designs.

Before that, let us just say that it’s good to see Kerry and Jordan reunited. The opportunities for celebs to get together in their own arena away from outsiders and TV cameras are few and far between. Here, in OK!, thy can talk about celeby stuff in the company of friends.

The danger is, of course, that shop talk will take over. The effect of so much orange tanning, inflated bosom and screeching only impresses the untutored, much like Oxbridge graduate talking to his dustman.

Rather than sparks flying, the expectation is for much windbaggery and mutual appreciation. There is a big danger of boredom in the OK! trade magazine.

“She is such a nice girl,” says Kerry of Jordan. “She has a heart of gold.”

Says Jordan:” She’s not up herself and is a really nice girl.”

This is how celebrities talk to one another, like two accountants meeting in Acapulco or some other sun-kissed haven to discuss tax codes, Kerry and Jordan can only talk about their stock in trade: celebrity.

Often the talk turns to tanning (Is vermillion this year’s orange?), breasts (Can I borrow them when you’re done?) and babies (I want an Armani, but he wants twins D&G).


In case readers start confusing Kerry with Jordon and Jerry with Kordon, OK! takes a trip down memory lane, looking back at the trail of stardust emmanating from each of its celebrity columnists.

We see Kerry’s finest moments: wedding to a fading singer, divorce, wedding (Kerry is now married to a giant red squirrel in an apron), a take-away, a drink, a baby, a book, a police car, I’m A Celebrity, topless modelling, a song, an eponymous perfume, surgery, fly-on-the-soap TV show.

And here’s Jordan: wedding, baby, horse, pop acorn, baby, perfume, surgery, a drink, a song, topless modelling, I’m A Celebrity, book, a soap-in-the-flies TV show.

Each professional celebrity follows the rules as laid down by the academy, PRIORY (Performers In OK! Rehab Yearly).

Join now and get a free eating disorder and Pete Andre no-plug-in night light…

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Posted: 19th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink