Anorak News | Why Is Cliff Richard Not A Health And Safety Risk?

Why Is Cliff Richard Not A Health And Safety Risk?

by | 26th, November 2008

DO you know why Cliff Richard is a health and safety risk?

It is sometimes best to reverse the question to better understand it: Do you know why Cliff Richard is not a health and safety risk?

The Express leads with news that the management of the Sheffield Arena have forbidden Cliff’s fans from queuing for tickets to his 50th anniversary show.

Can it be that given the demographic of the Clffites, a night in the cold air will exact a cull and lead to a less than packed house? Will Cliff outlive all his fans and be reduced to praying for rain at Wimbledon’s covered centre court?

One fan, a Viv Johnson, landlady of the Cliff Richard Meeting House Sheffield, says she camped for two weeks to be first in the queue last time Cliff performed in the city.

Vic then delivers the most optimistic quote of all time, agreeing that “children shouldn’t be able to camp out and not unsupervised”.

No small blow to Cliff chances of appealing to a new crowd of hipsters.

But youth will rebel and Anorak can think of now more epic way to upset the status quo and challenge the squares than a gang of alcopop-reared Young Ones coming round to find themselves at the head of the line for Cliff Richard tickets.

Taker it away, Your Cliffness, with your paean to Satanism and warning to queue jumpers:

Beware the devil woman
Shes gonna get you from behind


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Posted: 26th, November 2008 | In: Celebrities Comments (9) | TrackBack | Permalink