Anorak News | Fast Food Rivals React To Burger King Perfume

Fast Food Rivals React To Burger King Perfume

by | 16th, December 2008

BURGER King has brought its scent to market, allowing fans of ready-to-wear meat-based products to smell of friend beef, onions, gherkin, cardboard, bun, a flash of toilet-door-left-open-wee and ketchup away from the shopping precinct, playground and bus.

Flame “captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

Bitches will not be able to resist the smell of Flame, literally, sniffing at your genitalia, nibbling your body parts and taking a huge chunck of flesh from your inner thigh in an orgy only David Attenborough can imagine.

Bitches will go crazy for your whopper! Hey, if it worked for Elvis.

With Flame selling like hot beef sandwiches, other will bring their own scents to the fore, competing for market share.


Base notes of the clown’s own special sauce and two all beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun mean MacPhew! can be sprayed both on the body, and on the plastic seating and table tops before dining…


With ingredients known only to a few living souls outside the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative, Nugget coats the body in a crust of allure that says “Finger Lickin’ Good”. Works on legs, breasts and that bit no-one quite manages to indentify and tastes a bit gamey…


Subway’s signature odour comes in a handy 3meter high dispenser, so you never need to smell of anything else ever again. One whiff of Bloated and students, the unemployed, stoners and office workers leaving their pods for a few moments of sunlight will hunt you down…

Pret à l’odeur

Pret’s scent utilises the essence of spring water to leave you refreshed and ready to face the day ahead. Spray PAO throughout the day on body, face and hair and you’ll smell as natural as the day you were born…


The “smell of melted cheese from your youth” needs to be warmed before application. Popular with Wags and Page 3 stunnas, Stuffed, will leave your skin with that radiated, sun-kissed yellowy orange glow…

Samples of all perfumes can be gleaned from the seats on the No.73 bus to Stoke Newington…

Posted: 16th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Money Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink