Anorak News | Rachel’s Strictly Coming Dancing X Factor

Rachel’s Strictly Coming Dancing X Factor

by | 22nd, December 2008

HAVING lost the final of pro-celebrity dance–off Strictly Come Dancing, the one thing left for Rachel Stevens to do is cry.

Sun readers learn that boyfriend Alex Bourne whisked her way from the scene so she could shed her tears in private, and then tell Sun readers all about them:

“Everything was too much. I bawled – I was a blubbering wreck.”

But it’s soon ok, because Rachel’s mum’s there, although there are signs that she’s been flicking over to watch the X Factor:

“My mum told me, ‘You’re a winner to me, I can’t tell you how well you’ve done, you’ve inspired me.’”

Words straight out of the Cheryl Cole lexicon of dewy-eyed grief. While Rachel’s mum feels inspired to wear a backless, frontless, short dress and seek out a lisping dance partner, Rachel moves on to stage three of her rehabilitation: disappointed for…

Says she:

“I adore Vincent and I’d have loved to have won it for him.”

Of course, Vincent would have loved to have won it for himself. But the viewers voted for Camilla, the approachable blonde over the little Latino who smoulders from his website:

On a day to day basis, I like to do ´normal´ things. I say normal, because this surprises some people.

Anorak is not dancist and fully expects Vincent to be as normal as any other man in a spandex catsuit, although not as normal as agonist Brendan Cole who is possessed of that rare quality: the unlikeable factor.

But he didn’t win either. And in the Express, the talk is of a fix. Actress Samantha Bonds say she tried to vote for Rachel 75 times but only got through on four occasions. This is what actresses do when between jobs.

Anorak suggests the solution is for all contestants to be given their own show and the people that compile television audience figures to record how many people turn off their tellies when each competitor appears.
The celebs then appear with each dancer in turn and the results fed into the Lotto ball machine and drawn out at random.

While everyone is out.

Posted: 22nd, December 2008 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink