Anorak News | Recession And War Breathes New Life Into Mars

Recession And War Breathes New Life Into Mars

by | 16th, January 2009

“MARS IS ALIVE,” screams the Sun. “NASA prof, there’s evidence.”

Anorak has looked at the data and can confirm that in times of stress and recession, talk of alien life and Mars rises by a factor of 29.54.

At the apogee of the Cold War there was an average of 398 UFO sightings an hour over Blighty. By the late 1980s, the figure had fallen to 3 (thanks for those, Norman Artle of 145, Normanby Road, Dollis Hill). Now the figure is on the rise once more.

Mail readers are told:

“Beam me up: Scientists left baffled as mysterious columns of coloured light appear in the night skies.”


Scientists at the website said: “Truhin’s pillars are not the ordinary kind. Even reading experts in atmospheric optics can’t quite figure them out…”These pillars are mysterious.”

Taken by designer Aigar Truhins with a standard digital camera, the photographs have prompted excited online discussions among amateur astronomists all over the internet.

Says the snapper:

“My son exclaimed, ‘The aliens are coming!’”

On the telly, the Sun is watching Professor Michael Mumma tell millions of viewers:

“We are entering a new era. The discoveries indicate that we are now looking at an active Mars.” It is “substantially probable that life was there or still survives… There is a lot to think about. It might not be life as we know it.”

Might! Probably! Indicate! Flee, earthlings, they have us surrounded.

Look to the skies. Do you see the lights? No, that’s the sun. Wait for nightfall. Look again. No, not that huge craggy ball. To the right, past the airliner and the Guardian’s rocket empathy display team…

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Posted: 16th, January 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink