Anorak News | Birmingham City Drops The Apostrophe

Birmingham City Drops The Apostrophe

by | 30th, January 2009

THE pedants have won. From now on, no sign produced by Birmingham City Council will contain an/the apostrophe.

Kings Norton is just that. Druids Heath is likewise.

Says John (with an h) Richards (Richard’s), founder of the Apostrophe Protection Society:

“This is setting a terrible example. It seems retrograde, dumbing down really. All over Birmingham, and in other cities, teachers are trying to teach children correct grammar and punctuation. Now children will go around Birmingham and see utter chaos.”

Then in tribute to Pink Floyd:

“If you don’t have apostrophes, is there any point in full stops, or semi-colons, or question marks? Is there any point in punctuation at all?”

The point is the punctuation, specifically the full stop, no?
Martin Mullaney (douhble ‘l’ ‘ey’), a councillor who chairs the city’s transportation scrutiny committee, speaks out:

“I have done my own research into the use of the possessive apostrophe in place names. Both the Plain English Society and the Plain Language Commission have said that there is no rule in Britain with regards to possessive apostrophes in place names.”

Anorak recalls Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson, founders of the Typo Eradication Advancement League (Teal), who spent months touring American correcting signs.

They spent three months on a cross-country correcting spree. In Arizona, they pleaded guilty to a charge of conspiring to vandalise government property.

It seems unlikely that Birmingham anarchists will take up their magic markets to restore a sense of order and civic pride. Birmingham is not Switzerland.

Meanwhile the toughs of Birmingham should restore order by inventing their own grammar, universal signs that can be daubed on any other sign and give the place an identity.

Anorak suggests covering up sings with words like “BAZ”, “DICK”, “VILLA” and an erect penis in various stages of ejaculation and the words “Whatever”…


Posted: 30th, January 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink