Anorak News | Jonathan Ross Calls His Mum

Jonathan Ross Calls His Mum

by | 10th, February 2009

IN “ROSS lashed by mum in phone row”, Paul Ross, brother to Jonathan Ross, tells us of a conversation between Jonathan Ross and Jonathan Ross’s mum, Mrs Ross.

This Paul Ross, he says Mrs Ross puts the phone down on Jonathan Ross. Paul Ross says this was because Mrs Ross she was disgusted with her son – not Paul Ross, you blithering idiot, Jonathan Ross.

The conversation might ahve gone something like this:

Jonathan Ross: Hello Mum, this is Jonathan … Mum… Mum… You there… Pick up…

Mrs Ross: Beeep! I am sorry I can’t get to the phone just now…

JR: Andrew Sachs. You know, the Andrew Sachs thing… He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine. Mum…

Hangs up. Rings again:

JR: Mum… I love you, mum. No, not like that. My love for you is in a clean, wholesome mother-son way. Mum…

Third call.

JR: You know that photo of me when I was nine, the one by the phone? That’s me. That’s the real me, just sat on a swing. No f**king, mum. Just swinging. You little lad, just swinging and innocent. Mum…

Fourth call.

JR: Do you remember that time I asked you what the squeaky noise was in the garden, the one I heard late at night and fixed with linseed oil? Our neighbour hated it. We gave her what for, didn’t we. Not literally, mum, but in a good, clean, wholesome way.

How old was she, mum? 80-odd… How old are you know, mum…


JR: Mum..?

Paul Ross: Blah, blah, blah, blah blah….

Posted: 10th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink